“Your grandpa is going to tell you this section of the story tonight, Mia!”
“That’s right, Kiddo! So ya’ better pay attention, or ya gonna get the treatment, buggers like you deserve. The Tickle Treatment! Dun...Dun...Dun!”
“No! Grandpa please-eh-hehehehehe. Stop it! Stop it!”
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The first time I laid eyes on yer grandmother. I knew that trouble traced every step of her shoeless feet. I could tell, just by looking atter, that she was one a those girls who always, out of not fault of her own, wound up in trouble. This mystery girl gettin’ off was the bus a few blocks away from my house and my eyes were immediately drawn to her because I thought it was so weird that someone would be travelin’ around Massachusetts with a traffic cone on their heads. Well, turns out it was her hair, and what beautiful hair it was, too. It reminded me of a sunset near a beach and it floated in the wind around her body like wings and a halo. She was so breathtaking that I just stood on the sidewalk on the other side of the street, not breathing and staring at her. In a few moments I knew every part of her by heart. I knew her by her big, clanky, jangly, pink backpack, her daisy-petal white feet, her delicate arms in humongous baggy sleeves, her pleasant, restful, bright red smile, and her tiny pink nose. In the next few moments I noticed that she was probably in danger. She was being followed by a creepy old lady and a hulking, brutish, tall, dark, belligerent man. I knew I had to stay close to the sunset girl, both for my sanity and for her safety.
Originally, I was on my way home after school, but I called my mom to tell her that I was walking a friend home from school and was going to play video games and do homework there for a while before coming home. I figured that would buy me some time to make sure that she was safe. I severely miscalculated the amount of time keeping this girl safe would take. It’s now been 50 years and I am still not done with my job.
I saw that she was on her way to the inn, and so were the creeps. I knew that my friend worked at the inn on Thursday nights and he would be able to let me in to keep an eye on Sunset, as long as I explained the situation. He did let me in. He also told me her room number. I walked to her door and sat outside of it the whole night, keeping watch for the evil goons that might take my mystery princess away. I didn’t sleep that whole night, especially because the goons would come over every so often to check if I had gone away or to sleep. They were waiting for their moment, but it never came. And that my dear, Princess Mia was the proudest moment of my life. I guess I peaked a little early. But 15 better than never, right?
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“Grandpa! That can’t be true! It’s just like a fairy tale!”
“Where do you think fairy tales come from, Peanut?”
“So it was really love at first sight?”
“For me it was. But your Grandma needed a little convincing.”
“You bet I needed convincing! You were so annoying! And I am heralded for being one of the most patient people on this Earth.”
“Oh, well excuse me, Oh Patient One. I seem to remember it differently.”
“Jem, you always ‘remember things differently’. It’s how you get away with things.”
“Right. Just like how you get away with things by acting all high and mighty.”
“Grandma Ivy, Grandpa Jem, you guys are funny!”